Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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