hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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