my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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