So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
