thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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