I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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