you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
