you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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