She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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