he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
