did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
