help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
