I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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