Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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