put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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