she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
