I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize