I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
