I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Mom said you looked used
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
