So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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