Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
