no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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