how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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