I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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