I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
