haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize