the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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