I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
