There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
