I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
