please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
