btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
