If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
