WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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