Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
