I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
