Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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