look no pants
only you would photoshop your dick
I queefed so loud it echoed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize