I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
