i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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