I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
