The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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