My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
