I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
