What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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