No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
