trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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