This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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