i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We're too hungover to prance.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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