STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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