My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
