Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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