She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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