ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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