I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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