i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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