Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
