she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
