i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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