just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
