there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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